Have acquired a skill that many people do not need.
An ability so mastered that it comes natural to me.
Learning immediately after being under the knife for the first time.
Perfecting it after the four operations that followed.
I stealthily swim through the scholar’s safe haven hallways.
People part, like the red sea,
When they observe me crutching.
Dipping, dodging, and ducking,
Vehemently avoiding an assail from those who ignore my presence.
Clicking and clacking constantly from class to class.
Hopping haphazardly up and down harsh steps.
Resolute to conquer the stairs,
No matter how arduous they may be.
Hours and hours of trekking wear me down.
But I must be strong and press on,
Until that final bell rings and I can go to my humble abode.
Lazy and lethargic, I never want to leave my throne again.
But then the day comes when I no longer need my crutches.
That is, until the next operation happens.
Beautiful poetry about finding beauty in your illness/restriction, written by an old soul who knows of whence she writes. (And who is also one of my longest-following Cranquistadors, so you KNOW she’s fabuloso!)
“The nie nie zu (the “crush-crush tribe”) are so named because they go into supermarkets and take out their frustration by standing in the aisles crushing packets of instant noodles.”—Who knew China was tribal? The diversification of Chinese society has seen a flowering of a new vocabulary. Perhaps most fascinating has been the division of people into tribes (zu in Mandarin). (via theeconomist)
“America spends five times as much on defence as China does, and even though China’s defence budget is expanding faster, on recent growth rates America will remain top gun until 2025.”—
Rachel Marie Merritt
While America still tops a few league tables, the year when the Chinese economy will truly eclipse America’s is in sight. It would be a mistake for American leaders to try to block China’s rise—it is better to be number two in a fast-growing world than top dog in a stagnant one. (via theeconomist)
Dr. Fred Goldman sits in his office in Cincinnati. Goldman, who turned 100 years old on Dec. 12, has been a practicing physician for 76 years. He still works three days a week and has an office in the old Jewish Hospital on Burnet Ave.
My mother in-law shared this with us today. Just amazing…(and this guy is absolutely hilarious)
Wow — I want to be like this man: functioning body, productive in my society and blazingly funny at 100.
As the [100th-] birthday doctor worked the waiting and the hallway, his guests peppered him with questions.
How does it feel to be 100?
He examined both of his hands. He squeezed one. Then, the other.
“Don’t feel anything different,” he said with a sly smile.
“Most people my age,” he added, “can’t feel anything. They’re dead.”
TSK: When you just feel like crap -- make a run for the border.
Rachel Marie Merritt
Ok, let me try asking the same question in a different way -- Is there any part of your body that DOESN'T hurt today?
17-year-old female patient:
NO EVERYTHING HURTS AND I'M JUST TIRED AND I FEEL LIKE S--- AND THIS SUCKS.
Okey dokey. (Does physical exam, determines a sinus infection and bronchitis). I'll be putting you on some antibiotics and cough medicine, and I think you should stay home from school today and tomorrow.
I WANT TO BE OFF ON THURSDAY TOO, SINCE IT'S JUST A HALF-DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS BREAK AND I'M JUST TOO TIRED TO GET OUT OF BED.
But of course. (A bit of paperwork and prescriptions, and the patient is discharged). Ok, I hope you get well soon, bye-bye.
YEAH YEAH. (Patient goes into waiting area, starts yelling at her mom without realizing that I can totally still hear her) COME ON MOM, LET'S GO GET SOME TACO BELL!
For the past 6 months, I sneeze loudly while dictating charts into a phone — but only if I’ve been dictating for more than 10 minutes non-stop. (Yes, I’ve timed it). I’m pretty sure my transcriptionists must hate me, because I don’t always manage to pull the handset away (or hit the “Pause” button) before bellowing into their ears.